Rick McLaughlin. Planning and Proper Motivation.

 Planning:

Of the all skills I learned the two most important were planning and proper motivation, both skills being essential to anyone who needs to perform well in a high stress situation. I wanted so very badly to ask Kasich about his support for rebels in the Ukraine and Syria who are guilty of some pretty bad things. Partly I was motivated because I was angered how the media never ask politicians exactly who exactly are the rebels we support. I always assumed it’s because there is some spoken or unspoken agreement not to ask the tough questions.

I wanted him to have to answer, to explain himself, not necessarily answer well or truthfully, but at least give an answer. I had my hand up and my camera rolling but I think he knew what I was up to, he knew the guy with long hair is more likely a Sanders supporter, he’s not stupid. This was the first mistake I made, the first way I failed in preparation, I should have put my hair into a pony tail and made my camera less visible. My failure made me both irritated and desperate causing me to shout “what about the Odessamassacre!!!”   In retrospect I never had a chance, he was surrounded by handlers and supporters that would have never allowed that to happen. I had lost before the battle had begun.

What I should have done is stepped back, there was no way I would make it through his throng of followers and security. There were only two doors out. Two exits right next to each other. I should have walked out of the building and waited for him with my phone camera rolling.

My mistake is because I had decided on my course of action at the last minute. Kasich, the name meant next to nothing to me, I didn’t care about the rally besides how to pertain to class. Then I heard the words, support rebels in the Ukraine, support rebels in Syria. I failed because I didn't have a plan. I plan that I should have devised long before the rally.

Proper motivation:

 I thought of the videos on YouTube of Russian and Syrian civilians being butchered. I felt a shot of adrenaline, when you on an adrenaline high you hear your heart pound, your arms and legs burn, it’s the most horrible and wonderful feeling in the world all at the same time, a good emotion for a fight by the coke machines in high school but has no place when you need to be objective as a Political Scientist or Investigative Journalist. It the kind of rush that’s meant for you to make quick flight or fight actions, and it served me well growing up, it will not serve me well getting an interview. Next time I will not only be prepared through proper planning but prepared with proper motivation. I have learned I need to be dispassionate, disciplined, and logical. That’s not to say that I need to completely get rid of emotion. Emotion is who we are, emotion is fuel to our actions in the way that logic is the gas pedal that regulates those actions. What I will do in the future is channel and control my emotions through logic and discipline. If I could do it again I would use my anger to motivate me but never surrender myself to it.

I realize that my righteous anger was ultimately selfish and I failed the people I wanted to get justice for. My righteous anger ultimately meant Kasich could go on without having to answer for his crimes. I will not allow he pictures I just posted to reflect with uncomfortable clarity who I am.